The White Professional Anti-Racist

The White Professional Anti-Racist (News With Nezua):

(If you cannot watch Vimeo, here is the video on YouTube.)

Video by Nezua / Transcript by Arban:

SPOKEN:[NEZUA]

Hola Gente, and welcome to News With Nezua! (Translation from Spanish, “What’s up, people, and welcome to News With Nezua!”)

[Flamenco/Latin style music]

[Latin music fades into suspenseful cinematic score]

TITLE: “Chapter 11.4: The White Professional Anti-Racist”

Lower Third Graphic: “XICANOLICIOUS COMMENTARY: theunapologeticmexican.org

SPOKEN [NEZUA] (in serious movie trailer dramatic tone)

“2009. The era of our having elected president a black man, as well as a national realization that the cultural landscape is shifting.”

“In roughly forty years, the white population of the United States will be a minority, for the first time since the British settlers swept into indigenous communities, and with great violence and grand purpose, established a dominant order.”

“As more and more non-white-centric voices begin speaking from their communities, and for their own experience, largely aided by the open arms of a low barrier Internet media publishing environment, a perverse new profession arises: The White Professional Anti-Racist.”

“Because for some, it is not satisfying enough to live right, not glorious enough to build, and support your own community, not lucrative enough to simply live the struggle, and as the psycho-social phenomenon known as “whiteness” surely would demand to know: why give up power, anyway?

NEZUA APPEARS ON SCREEN AS CHARACTER “LYLE DOUCHEE-WAY”

[patriotic music]

SPOKEN [NEZUA] (in a nerdy comic voice)

“I’d like to begin by welcoming all you POC to my group, “The Racial Equality Social Justice & Media.”

“My name is Lyle Douchee-Way, and I am a professional anti-racist. “

“As you can see…”

[holds up sign around neck that says "ANTi-RACIST"]

“everybody get a good look at that? Good!”

“I am credentialed by having many brown friends, and an overwhelming desire to see my anti-racist visions come to life…and if you behave properly, you can even help me carry those out. Wouldn’t that be satisfying, in this world of inequality? “

“Now, as I am always extremely aware of my white privilege, I’d like to kick this off by letting people of color speak.”

[goofy 60's game show music]

“So, first we’ll go to your friend and mine, white ally, Jerry Jackalorde!”

“Did I see a hand?”

[a character in the audience waves hands manically]

“Mmmm, not sure, I don’t really see anyone…All right then Jerry, oh wait, maybe, maybe, there’s a hand up over here, so, as I take this question…”

[lifts tiny person out of the audience]

“I would like to point everyone to the materials under your seats. On these papers you will see many fine references and informations and sources that you can refer to in your own battle for racial equality and social justice.

[turns to small person in his hand]

“Now how can I help you Pedro?”

Pedro:

“¿porque en los papeles no hay gente latina, solo gente que hablan por los latinos?”

(Translation: Why is it that on these papers, there are no Latino sources? Only people who speak for Latinos?)

Lyle:

“Well, see first of all, being that I am always aware of my white privilege, I should first state that I understand you language, because that you and I share something of the same culture, uh, no, no, no, I’m not Mexican, no, my parents have a summer house, and I had a gardener who looked a lot like you, Pedro, and, uh, I’m sorry to have to say this, but, um, I can’t answer your question, because you have abused the rules.”

“And the rules in your papers state that you may not speak over six seconds, and Pedro, Pedro, you are clearly into your eighth second, and we have to have order here, as everyone knows, there is no social justice without order.”

“Now, shall we return to our program? Take it away, Jerry”.

[flamenco guitar]

ONE SCREEN TEXT: This week’s episode of News with Nezua was made possible by LFT lafronteratimes.com

feedback, ideas, questions, info, ad buys:

NWN[AT]NEZUA[DOT]NET

Twitter: @NewsWithNezua

NEZUA: all writing, lighting, shooting, editing, arte & scoring

a XOLAGRAFIK production

The transcript does not do the video justice, as there are visual metaphors done with special effects. Lyle Douchee-Way is gigantic, while his audience is tiny brown folk. When he flashes his “ANTi-RACIST” sign, it literally shines light and shines over the faces and bodies of the POC in the audience. There are also interesting facial reactions from the POC audience members when Lyle lectures. There is a (green) chalkboard in the background with partially-obscured writing in chalk, but I make out the words on the left chalkboard as:

Lesson 1:
How to win a comment war

Lesson 2:
Sell the URL

Lesson 3:
How to appear humble

Lesson 4:
“Condescend, condescend, condescend”

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9 Responses to “The White Professional Anti-Racist”

  1. Renee Says:

    This video is some piece of truth. I think I might have to post this for my readers to see.

  2. Restructure! Says:

    Yes, you should! :)

  3. RVCBard Says:

    See, POCs need to figure out how to get paid for being POCs. It’s even better than welfare!

    [/sarcasm]

  4. Restructure! Says:

    The post is updated with a transcript generously provided by Arban and sent by Nezua.

  5. jwbe Says:

    thank you for the script, I can’t watch the video

  6. Restructure! Says:

    Is it Vimeo, or just videos in general? Here is a YouTube link, if it’s just Vimeo you can’t watch.

  7. jwbe Says:

    oh thank you for the link, yes it’s just vimeo I can’t watch

  8. Xenu01 Says:

    That is not true LET ME TELL YOU HOW IT IS I AM WHITE YOU SEE

  9. The Root’s Confab and Random Thoughts About Talking About Race | Racialicious - the intersection of race and pop culture Says:

    [...] Sometimes, this is just the medium.  I was asked by Jesse Washington who are white professional anti-racists outside of Tim Wise, and I couldn’t think of any off the top of my head. I referred to Nezua, the Unapologetic Mexican as someone who had more experience dealing with white anti-racists, but it came out wrong.  It sounded like I was saying “Nez knows all the white people” when really, I was thinking about this video that he made for News with Nezua (transcript here): [...]


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